I need adventure or something in this life. So far I've spent my spring break either in my room or exercising outside. I want to have the carefree, whimsical lifestyle I portray but I lack the energy and motivation. I feel disgusting whenever I'm with a group of people. When I go out, it's either to get drunk or to get high. Last week I had a panic attack and decided I had to give up those vices along with caffeine and other crap. That leaves this big void that I'm desperate to fill.
My ideal life involves me waking up early on weekdays for a swim. I make myself pretty afterwards and go straight to class where I surprise everyone with my intellect. After getting more A's, I go to the library for an hour or two to finish my homework. I go to work so I can afford school and everything else in my awesome life. I return home and relax outside while reading a good book for an hour. On weekends, I go surfing and catch up with friends while shopping at the beach. I go camping, listen to live music, and go out dancing.
This blog isn't just about me starving. It's about me changing my current life into my ideal life. It's decided. I'm making an appointment with a therapist to get back of antidepressants. I refuse to be a victim of my mood. I only get one life and I'm going to kick some ass.
I slept through breakfast and narrowly avoided a binge by chugging hot tea and eating hot oatmeal. I'm rather proud of myself. I'm going for a bike ride now and I have dinner all set up for when I get back. It's a beautiful day and I'm going to wake up and smell the fucking roses.
B: herbal tea w/ stevia (0 calories)
S:
L: oatmeal (160 calories)
S:1/2 chocolate graham cracker (35 calories)
D: baked sweet potato (180 calories)
Total: 375 calories
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